Hughes: The Best Quotes

John Hughes, the beloved director behind such 1980s classics as ”The Breakfast Club” and “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off,” died from a heart attack.

American Superstar Magazine remembers Hughes with a few memorable movie quotes that will forever keep his spirit alive:

 

 

Sixteen Candles

Sixteen Candles

 

 

 

“Sixteen Candles Movie Quotes”

Grandma Helen: Oh Sam, let me take a look at you. Fred, she’s gotten her boobies. 
Grandpa Fred: I better get my magnifying glass. Ha Ha Ha. 
Grandma Helen: Oh, and they are so PERKY. 
[reaches to cup them] 
Grandma Helen: [cut to:] 
Samantha: I can’t believe my grandmother actually felt me up.

Jake: [Jake is now holding Samantha's panties] These are really hers? 
The Geek: Yeah. 
Jake: How did you get ‘em? 
The Geek: She gave ‘em to me. 
Jake: Did you…? 
The Geek: No! She cranked for you. I told her you asked about her, right? The girl freaked. She had a hissy. She thinks you’re the cats meow! 
Jake: Really? She came up to me in the gym tonight. She looked at me like I was a leper. 
The Geek: Girls will do that, Jake. You know? They know that guys are like in perpetual heat, right? They know they shit, and they enjoy pumping us up. It’s pure power politics. I’m telling you. 
Jake: I thought she hated my guts. 
The Geek: Games, Jake. Silly torturous games. You know how many times I’ve gone without lunch because some bitch borrows my lunch money? Any halfway decent girl can rob me – blind! Because I’m too torked up to say no. It’s heinous, I’m telling you.

Jake: You better not be dicking me around. It’d be a major downer to try and get together with this girl and find out that she really does think I’m a slime. 
The Geek: Jake, would I dick you? Let me put it to you this way, what happens to me if I dick you? 
Jake: I’ll kick your ass. 
The Geek: Right! So why would I lie? But I feel compelled to mention to you, Jake, that if all you want of the girl is a piece of ass, I mean, I’ll either do it myself, or get someone bigger than me to kick your ass. I mean, not many girls in contemporary American society today would give their underwear to help a geek like me. 
Jake: I can get a piece of ass anytime I want. Shit, I’ve got Caroline in the bedroom right now, passed out cold. I could violate her ten different ways if I wanted to.

Long Duk Dong: No more yankie my wankie. The Donger need food.

Randy: Geek, can I be honest with you? 
The Geek: Not if you’re gonna insult me. 
Randy: [laughs] Ok. 
The Geek: Shoot. 
Randy: Get the hell outta here.

The Geek: Just answer me one question. 
Samantha: Yes, you’re a total fag. 
The Geek: Ha ha ha. That’s not the question.

The Geek: Relax, would you? We have seventy dollars and a pair of girls underpants. We’re safe as kittens.

[Jake rings doorbell at Samantha's house] 
Long Duk Dong: Okay. I’m comin’. 
[opens closet door] 
Long Duk Dong: Hello? Jeez, this place is so confusing. Okay. 
[opens front door, screams and shuts door] 
Long Duk Dong: Go away! I call F.I.B. I call police! Go away! 
Jake: Open the door. 
Long Duk Dong: No way, Jose! 
Jake: Open the door. 
Long Duk Dong: You beat up my face. 
Jake: You grabbed my nuts. 
Long Duk Dong: [looks through frosted glass on door] Is that you? 
Jake: Yeah, that me. 
Long Duk Dong: [opens door] Oh, I’m so sorry. I thought you my new – new-style American girlfriend. 
Jake: Forget it, man. Just get Samantha, all right? 
Long Duk Dong: She not here. 
Jake: Don’t jerk me around, man. Where is she? 
Long Duk Dong: She got married. 
Jake: What? 
Long Duk Dong: She at the church. She getting married to oily bohunk. 
Jake: Married? 
Long Duk Dong: Married. 
Jake: Married? 
Long Duk Dong: Yeah. Married 
[closes door] 
Jake: [turns around, under breath to himself] Married? 
Long Duk Dong: Married! Jeez.

 

ferris bueller

 

“Ferris Bueller’s Day Off  Movie Quotes”

Ed Rooney: I did not achieve this position in life by having some snot-nosed punk leave my cheese out in the wind.

Ferris: Look, it’s real simple. Whatever mileage we put on, we’ll take off. 
Cameron: How? 
Ferris: We’ll drive home backwards.

Boy in Police Station: Drugs? 
Jeannie: Thank you, no. I’m straight. 
Boy in Police Station: I meant, are you in here for drugs? 
Jeannie: Why are you here? 
Boy in Police Station: Drugs.

Ferris: The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands. It’s a good non-specific symptom; I’m a big believer in it. A lot of people will tell you that a good phony fever is a dead lock, but, uh… you get a nervous mother, you could wind up in a doctor’s office. That’s worse than school. You fake a stomach cramp, and when you’re bent over, moaning and wailing, you lick your palms. It’s a little childish and stupid, but then, so is high school.

Ferris: Pardon my French, but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you’d have a diamond.

Ed Rooney: I don’t trust this kid any further than I can throw him. 
Grace: Well, with your bad knee Ed, you shouldn’t throw anybody… Its true. 
Ed Rooney: What is so dangerous about a character like Ferris Bueller is he gives good kids bad ideas. 
Grace: Mmm-hmm. 
Ed Rooney: Last thing I need at this point in my career is fifteen hundred Ferris Bueller disciples running around these halls. He jeopardizes my ability to effectivley govern this student body. 
Grace: Well, makes you look like an ass is what he does, Ed.

[On the phone] 
Ed Rooney: Are you also aware, Mrs. Bueller, that Ferris does not have what we consider to be an exemplary attendance record? 
Katie Bueller: I don’t understand. 
Ed Rooney: He has missed an unacceptable number of school days. In the opinion of this educator, Ferris is not taking his academic growth seriously. Now I’ve spent my morning examining his records. If Ferris thinks that he can just coast through this month and still graduate, he is sorely mistaken. I have no reservations whatsoever about holding him back another year. 
Katie Bueller: This is all news to me. 
Ed Rooney: It usually is. So far this semester he has been absent nine times. 
Katie Bueller: Nine times? 
Ed Rooney: Nine times. 
Katie Bueller: I don’t remember him being sick nine times. 
Ed Rooney: That’s probably because he wasn’t sick. He was skipping school. Wake up and smell the coffee, Mrs. Bueller. It’s a fool’s paradise. He is just leading you down the primrose path. 
Katie Bueller: I can’t believe it. 
Ed Rooney: I’ve got it right here in front of me. He has missed nine days… 
[His computer screen begins counting down from nine to two. Ferris is at home looking at the same screen] 
Ferris: I asked for a car, I got a computer. How’s that for being born under a bad sign?

Ed Rooney: Ed Rooney. 
Cameron: [disguising voice as George Peterson] Ed. This is George Peterson. 
Ed Rooney: How are you today, sir? 
Cameron: [voice disguised] Well, we’ve had a bit of bad luck this morning as you may have heard. 
Ed Rooney: Yeah I heard, and man, I’m all broken up, boy, what a blow. 
Cameron: [disguised] Yeah. Yeah. Well, uh, it’s been a tough morning and we got a lot of family business to take care of, so if you wouldn’t mind excusing Sloane, I’d appreciate it. 
Ed Rooney: Uh, yeah, sure, no I’d be happy to, yeah you, uh, you you just produce a corpse, and uh, I’ll release Sloane. I wanna see this dead grandmother first hand. 
Grace: Ed? 
Ed Rooney: It’s alright, Grace, it’s Ferris Bueller the little twerp. I’m gonna set a trap and let him fall right in it. 
Grace: Ooh! 
Cameron: [disguised] I’m sorry, Ed, did you say you wanted to see a body? 
Ed Rooney: Yeah, that’s right, just, uh, roll her old bones on over here, and I’ll dig up your daughter. You know that’s school policy. 
Cameron: [disguised] Oh. 
Ed Rooney: Was this your mother? 
Cameron: [disguised] Uh, no my wife’s mother. 
Grace: [picks up ringing phone] Ed Rooney’s office. 
Ferris: Hi this is Ferris Bueller, can I speak to Mr. Rooney please? Thank you. 
Grace: [caught off-guard] Uh… hold. 
Ed Rooney: Tell ya what, dipshit. If you don’t like my policies you can come on down here and smooch my big ole’ white butt. 
Grace: ED! 
Ed Rooney: Pucker up butter-cup. 
[to Grace] 
Ed Rooney: What? 
Grace: Ferris Bueller’s on line 2.

Boy in Police Station: What’s your name? 
Jeannie: It’s Jean, but most guys call me Shauna. 
Boy in Police Station: Okay Jean.

Ferris: If anyone needs a day off, it’s Cameron. He has a lot of things to sort out before he graduates. Can’t be wound up this tight and go to college, his roommate will kill him.

 

 

The Breakfast club

The Breakfast club

 

 

“Breakfast Club Movie Quotes”

Richard Vernon: You’re not fooling anyone, Bender. The next screw that falls out will be you. 
John Bender: Eat my shorts. 
Richard Vernon: What was that? 
John Bender: Eat… My… Shorts. 
Richard Vernon: You just bought yourself another Saturday. 
John Bender: Ooh, I’m crushed. 
Richard Vernon: You just bought one more. 
John Bender: Well I’m free the Saturday after that. Beyond that, I’m going to have to check my calendar. 
Richard Vernon: Good, cause it’s going to be filled. We’ll keep going. You want another one? Just say the word say it. Instead of going to prison you’ll come here. Are you through? 
John Bender: No. 
Richard Vernon: I’m doing society a favor. 
John Bender: So? 
Richard Vernon: That’s another one right now! I’ve got you for the rest of your natural born life if you don’t watch your step. You want another one? 
John Bender: Yes. 
Richard Vernon: You got it! You got another one right there! That’s another one pal! 
Claire Standish: Cut it out! 
Richard Vernon: You through? 
John Bender: Not even close bud! 
Richard Vernon: Good! You got one more right there! 
John Bender: You really think I give a shit? 
Richard Vernon: Another! You through? 
John Bender: How many is that? 
Brian Johnson: That’s seven including when we first came in and you asked Mr. Vernon whether Barry Manilow knew that he raided his closet. 
Richard Vernon: Now it’s eight. You stay out of this. 
Brian Johnson: Excuse me sir, it’s seven.

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